Welcome, Brave Writers.
O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!
Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.
Read! Write! Flourish!
Or Else.
Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.
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By Ethelie, on February 15th, 2010%
O my little Anemones!
Thank you for your Kind Wishes and Get Well Cards; they have done much to Soothe me as I recover from my Horrifying attack. Today my Dear friend Gustav brought my Chair to the Solarium so that I might have some Peace, away from the Screams and Moans of the Mad and Wounded. As we Sat in the warm Silence of the Solarium, I told him of my Suspicions about my Attack.
O dear Gustav! He is Fiercely loyal to the Beastmaster, who Raised him, and would not Suffer me to speak a Word against him. I told Gustav . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #10: Magpie
By Ethelie, on February 15th, 2010%
O Loyal Agents,
Today I write to you of Procrastination, the Scourge of Writers and other Noble Folks. I shall tell you a True Story to illustrate my Meaning. Attend!
Recently, one of your fellow Agents (Code-named Rocket) received a fine Gift: a Healing and Invigorating Elixir made from the finest Natural Ingredients: Coffee, Honey, and Onion Juice. Inexplicably, Agent Rocket did not enjoy this fine Gift, and set it aside, intending to Cast it Away from her.
Point the First:
Agent Rocket is no fit judge of what is Good. Similarly, many Writers (yea, even Directorate Agents!) are no fit judges of the . . . → Read More: On the Perils of Procrastination: An Exhortation
By Ethelie, on February 13th, 2010%
O, my little Prickly Pears! It has been an Extraordinarily Eventful week at the Fiction-Writing Directorate. First the Escape of the Anaconda — and then the Shocking attack on my Person! I Pray that your Week has been more Peaceful — and that you have Written and met your Goals.
Given the Beastmaster’s Appalling and Shocking Behavior toward me this Week, I am Loath to allow any of my Agents to become Feed for his foul Beasts. But O my little Apple Blossoms, I must. It is my Duty to Punish the Recalcitrant.
Under ordinary Circumstances, I would insist that I be the . . . → Read More: Weekly Debriefing from the Infirmary
By Ethelie, on February 12th, 2010%
O my little Geckos! Something Dreadful has happened. Previously I told you how I feared the Beastmaster’s rage; I trembled in my Chamber, lest he be Guided by his Anger and Harm me.
Yet for many Hours that night, all was Silent, and eventually, my Trembling ceased. I began to Believe that I had given in to Womanly Fears of the most Cowardly sort. Determining at last to Sleep soundly for what Remained of the Night, I Ventured forth to fetch a mug of Warm Milk from the Kitchen.
O Foolishness!
I should not have Relaxed my Guard! For though I was not . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #9: Get Well Soon
By Ethelie, on February 10th, 2010%
Hello, my little Panda Bears!
O, how Difficult life at the Directorate has been this Week. I told you on Monday how the escape of the Anaconda of Adverbs threw everything into Turmoil. We did, at length, recapture the Beast and return him to the Beastmaster. At that Point, we turned our Attention toward Disciplining the Beastmaster.
I gave him the Sternest of Lectures, as you may Imagine. He nodded his Beastly Head at my Words, as if in Agreement; when I asked if he Understood and Repented, he said only “Yes Ma’am.” He was the very Picture of Abject Subservience: yet my . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #8: Say Yes’m
By Ethelie, on February 9th, 2010%
All People speak Differently, my little Orchids. Why, you could no more Mistake my words for those of the Beastmaster than you could Mistake the Kraken for a Tyrannosaur.
Think of a Trio of characters you have Written, and Present for us a sampling of their Dialogue, without Extraneous Words. Do your Characters sufficiently Distinguish themselves? Do you let their Words be the Measure of their Characters?
Adjust your Dialogue as necessary to Accentuate . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #7: Character voices
By Ethelie, on February 8th, 2010%
Below is a passage of Prose written by a Senior Agent. It was Perfectly Splendid — until the Anaconda of Adverbs Befouled it. Not only is it now Strewn with Anaconda-droppings, but the other words have been Crushed into Bland insignificance and Tedium.
Can you help restore this Passage to its former Glory? Fix it, as Best you Can.
“Oh, hello, Amarillys, when did you get here?” asked Umberto guiltily and accusingly and angrily as he walked really quickly across the floor toward her. He rapidly and furtively put his hands in his pockets.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Amarillys said, suspiciously and curiously. “What . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #6: Anaconda Cleanup
By Ethelie, on February 8th, 2010%
O my Patient Agents! I fear I have Disappointed you by not readying this Exhortation more Promptly. For though my Superiors insist that I Eagerly post early in the Day, and though I have the Noblest of Intentions of doing so, I have failed Miserably, and only through the Sternest exertion of Willpower am I posting Now.
For the Anaconda of Adverbs has cleverly Escaped the Beastmaster’s care! It slithers hurridly, stealthily, creepily throughout Headquarters, horridly shedding Modifiers wherever it so Cunningly goes. All of our Efforts have been Fully directed at its Capture, and though we earnestly, eagerly, rapidly, fervently Pursue . . . → Read More: Of Anacondas and Excuses: An Exhortation
By Ethelie, on February 6th, 2010%
O Brave Agents! The Day of Reckoning is here at Last. Your Time has run Out. What have you Written this week? Did you meet your Ambitious Goals and Complete your Mission, or will the Beasts feed tonight?
Agent Emily is safe, for she has Drafted her way from her Prologue into her Novel. Agent Eva’s Judgement shall be deferred, by prior Arrangement.
What of Agents Sean and C.S.?
Is it the Pit of Scorpions? Or Wings of Glory?
I await . . . → Read More: Judgement Day
By Ethelie, on February 5th, 2010%
O my little Chickadees! Our first week of Training together is drawing to a Resounding Finish. My Thanks and Admiration to all who Joined us.
Your Task this Day: Review your Beginnings from Exercise #1. Now, write the Ending for each Tale.
Do not Fear. For although your Beginnings were most Excellent, these Exercises remain mere Practice. Even if you do not Believe you can approach the Magnificence of your Beginning, write the Ending anyway. . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #5
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