Welcome, Brave Writers.

O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!

Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.

Read! Write! Flourish!

Or Else.

Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.

The Scent of Desperation

A recent incident compelled me to write to my dear friend Stacey Cornelius for advice. I found her response so marvelously useful that I knew I must share it with you all immediately! Take heed!–Lida.

Dearest Lida,

I was delighted to receive your correspondence, but surely you jest—vampires? But have you not just vanquished the zombies? This is terrible news indeed.

I won’t mince words, my dear. I’ve encountered the vampires. I am nearly ashamed to admit I have been seduced myself.

Does that shock you, Lida? I apologize. My wanderings in the wilderness often cause me to forget the gentility of polite company. But . . . → Read More: The Scent of Desperation

Clear the Decks Thursday: Vacation Edition

Ethelie

O my little Apple Blossoms! Tomorrow, the Staff of the Directorate departs for its annual Corporate Retreat; thus, we must Clear our Decks a day Early.

An imminent Vacation has a marvelously Focussing effect on one’s Mind, don’t you think? When one is faced with an Immovable Deadline, the essential tasks stand out with Marked Clarity, and all other Concerns fade into a Murky and Undistinguished background.

Already today I Labored with Mr. Boggins on revealing the new Directorate Emporium! Now you can purchase splendid Directorate goods, and constantly be Reminded of your Obligations by virtue of Gustav observing you from a . . . → Read More: Clear the Decks Thursday: Vacation Edition

Shiva Nata for Swingers

This is a short video of me doing Level 1 Horizontals this afternoon.

Here’s the thing about the Dance of Shiva: it can be as much fun as you want it . . . → Read More: Shiva Nata for Swingers

Clear the Decks Friday: Mr. Forster’s SuperFocus

Darlings! Welcome to the sixth edition of Clear the Decks Friday, in which we work together to dispose of the bothersome tasks that otherwise encumber our writing life!

Today, my lovelies, I am thinking about systems.

Ethelie is terribly fond of lists and priorities and stern consequences. Her lists — o, my darling, they are magnificent and mighty machines, with thousands of interlocking gears, each grinding inexorably along. Frankly, they terrify me, and when I have tried to use Ethelie’s systems, I’ve found myself weeping in the arms of my evening’s companion, instead of frolicking. There was simply no way to live up . . . → Read More: Clear the Decks Friday: Mr. Forster’s SuperFocus

Clear the Decks Friday: What Went Right?

A Shameful Harlot

Darlings! What a dreary and wretched day today is!

Everything is horrid: the Hounds will not stop howling. The weather is utterly frigid and the Beastmaster feared that the Kraken’s pond might freeze solid, so now the Kraken is lurking sullenly in the largest bathing tub in the Directorate. I have not performed my ablutions for days, darlings, and fear I am quite sticky and feral. My most promising writer had a dreadful relapse and has not written a word for days; he has been turned over to the tender ministries of the Plot Spiders, and all my marvelous . . . → Read More: Clear the Decks Friday: What Went Right?