Welcome, Brave Writers.
O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!
Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.
Read! Write! Flourish!
Or Else.
Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.
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By Ethelie, on March 11th, 2011%
A Shameful Harlot
Darlings! Welcome to another delicious Friday! Let us all work together to clear our decks, shall we?
Earlier today, I sprang refreshed from the nourishing arms of slumber, eager to savour the day. After breaking my fast and performing my ablutions, I dove into the very first task on my list: a somewhat overdue assessment of an Agent’s performance with his writing goals.
It’s an important task, darling! Yet somehow, without me even noticting, over an hour slipped away into diversionary shenanigans of the most pointless kind. Oh, dear, I muttered, as I turned away from the internet. Oh dear, . . . → Read More: Clear the Decks Friday: Flow Around
By Ethelie, on February 17th, 2011%
Ethelie
O my little Apple Blossoms! Tomorrow, the Staff of the Directorate departs for its annual Corporate Retreat; thus, we must Clear our Decks a day Early.
An imminent Vacation has a marvelously Focussing effect on one’s Mind, don’t you think? When one is faced with an Immovable Deadline, the essential tasks stand out with Marked Clarity, and all other Concerns fade into a Murky and Undistinguished background.
Already today I Labored with Mr. Boggins on revealing the new Directorate Emporium! Now you can purchase splendid Directorate goods, and constantly be Reminded of your Obligations by virtue of Gustav observing you from a . . . → Read More: Clear the Decks Thursday: Vacation Edition
By Ethelie, on January 28th, 2011%
Ethelie
O my little Mangolias! Welcome to another Edition of Clear the Decks Friday, in which we complete our most Troublesome Tasks together. For Clearing ones Decks has a Salubrious and Invigorating affect; and many Agents find themselves Turning to their Writing with renewed Vigour.
Let us Begin!
Today I wish to expound on the numberless Benefits of a time-Honored productivity Tool: the humble Timer. The Fiction-Writing Directorate employs Timers in a variety of Manners. My Favorite is to place the Recalcitrant Writer on a platform suspended over a Pit of Ravenous Wolverines, and set a Timer. If the Writer completes his or . . . → Read More: Clear the Decks Friday: on Timers
By Ethelie, on January 11th, 2011%
Some days, it seems the Halls of the Directorate are filled with Agents bemoaning their Lack of Inspiration.
Pah! What a feeble Excuse! Henceforth, any Agent who dares Proffer it will be Imprisoned in a dark Closet with the Plot Spider and her little Spiderlings. Perhaps the sensation of Thousands of tiny Feet clambering over your Helpless Body will prove sufficient Inspiration.
However, I fear that Agents who are not in the Environs of the Directorate may not Benefit from such gentle Inspiration. Hence, I offer alternate Sources. I encourage you to Peruse these Offerings. What exquisite Tales hide in each, waiting only . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: Concerning Inspiration
By Ethelie, on January 7th, 2011%
Ethelie
O my little Galapagos Tortoises! Welcome to the first Clear the Decks Friday. After experiencing the Salubrious Benefits of Clearing our Decks in December, we wanted to Ensure that our Decks remained Clear, and encourage you to do Likewise. Therefore, each Friday, we will Gather together to work on our unseemly Tasks, and benefit both from Companionship and the delights of Completion. Let us work on the Tasks which we have Avoided.
As I consider my Lingering Tasks for the week, I am appalled at how Quickly they accumulate. Why, our Decks were clear less than a Fortnight ago; yet already . . . → Read More: Clear the Decks Friday: Eliminate the Nebulous
By Ethelie, on January 6th, 2011%
The Fiction-Writing Directorate is Delighted to announce that Ms. Beth Wodzinski, renowned Shiva Nata instructor, is joining the Staff of the Directorate. She will instruct Agents in the ancient Dance of Shiva. — Ethelie.
Hi, I’m Beth. I am both surprised and pleased to find myself employed by the Fiction-Writing Directorate.
Beth
I’m a certified Dance of Shiva instructor, and am really looking forward to bringing this practice to the recalcitrant writers of the Directorate. I bet the Dance of Shiva can help you keep your limbs from being devoured by the Hounds: it can help dissolve blocks, give you energy, and help . . . → Read More: Introducing the Art of Shiva Nata
By Ethelie, on January 3rd, 2011%
Ethelie
O my little Cuttlefish!
This December past, the staff of the Fiction-Writing Directorate undertook a marvelous Experiment: Clear the Decks December. The results were so Salubrious, we knew we must Share them with you. We encourage you to undertake a similar Experiment of your own, that you may also Benefit.
Our Unspeakable Problem
Our list of Terribly Important Tasks was unending. Tasks, like Biscuit-Crumbs, have a devious Manner about them, and accumulate rapidly despite one’s best Efforts to brush them off one’s Bosom; and before long, one finds oneself veritably Buried. Attend to this Message, burn that Message . . . → Read More: On the Merits of Clearing the Decks
By Ethelie, on December 28th, 2010%
O my little Holly-Berries!
I write today’s Post, the Last of the Year, aquiver with Excitement.
Our Year in Review
O my little Mistletoe! What an Extraordinary year for the Fiction-Writing Directorate. In February we broke Centuries of staid Silence and stepped out into the InterWebs so that we might further Pursue our Mission. Since then, we Released our Manifesto, created our first Course and befriended the Giant Squid. To our Despair, and the Beastmaster’s Delight, no less than Thirteen unfortunate Writers were Devoured entire by the Hounds, and Dozens more now sport finely crafted Prosthetic Limbs to replace the ones upon which the . . . → Read More: The Year in Review
By Ethelie, on November 22nd, 2010%
The Directorate is filled with the Wails of Agents who struggle with their NaNoWriMo Novels. Oh, to be sure, many Agents have flourished this Month, typing Hundreds of Thousands of exquisite words. We applaud them!
But others, despite the Directorate’s best Efforts, languish. It is almost as if the Ungrateful Wretches do this out of Spite.
An Example of a Struggling Writer
Let me Present to you the example of Agent Sweetman-Gross. This Unfortunately Hyphenated agent came to me Yesterday, weeping. She was nearly twenty-thousand words Behind, and doubted she would ever Succeed. Indeed, I shared her Doubts. She was a Terrible sight to . . . → Read More: On the Merits of Giving Up
By Ethelie, on October 31st, 2010%
O my little March Hares! In a few short Hours, it will be November, which means Novel-Writing Season, under the Gentle Auspices of NaNoWriMo. For the Benefit of the Uninitiated, participants must Write 50,000 words in the month of November. Some Writers report tremendous amounts of Fun occuring.
The Directorate is of Two Minds concerning this Phenomenon. One mind Relishes the thought of so many Brave Writers simply Writing. Yet another Mind trembles: for each Writer that completes their allotted Words, hundreds — perhaps even Thousands — of other writers Perish in the Attempt, and their abandoned Words fester, and soon Rise . . . → Read More: The NaNoWriMo Survival Guide
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