O my little Opium Poppies! I am Delighted to see you again, and while I wish I could Trust you have been Diligent in our too-lengthy Absence, I fear a Noxious Slackness has overcome you. Fear no more, Faithful Agents! The Fiction-Writing Directorate has Returned.

The Directorate wishes to offer its Most Sincere Thanks and Appreciation to the Giant Squid, for kindly Guest-Posting. Even my great Shock at his most Scandalous Accusations does not negate my Gratitude.

Where were we, you Inquire, most nosily? O my little Whip-Poor-Wills, we traveled to a Distant and Mysterious city to learn the Ancient and Bizarre art . . . → Read More: Three Wholesome Teachings On Writer’s Block

CHALLENGE THE SECOND FROM THE GIANT SQUID, EDITOR-IN-ABSENTIA OF HIS POOR MOJO’S ALMANAC(K) AND RELATED LITERARY CONCERNS

My Dearest and Devoted Scribblerians and Writorios,

I text in haste, and I fear without sufficient care for, I am exhausted: Today, I am to be transfered from the relative comforts of my tiled tank here in the Directorate’s tower to either the primary or sous-kitchen, so that I might be butchered and yet live again, first as sashimi, then as handrolls, then as calimari, then as taco salad, then as “seafood medley,” and finally as some abomination which Boggins reports Gustav has called “meatloaf surprise.”

Thus, . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #28: The Squid’s Second Exercise

CHALLENGE THE FIRST FROM THE GIANT SQUID, EDITOR-IN-ABSENTIA OF HIS POOR MOJO’S ALMANAC(K) AND RELATED LITERARY CONCERNS

My Dearest Typistas and Quilleros,

I fear matters have, for me, become substantially more grim since our exhortation earlier this week. Specifically, despite Lida’s insistence that we shall soon sort out my implicit confinement here within the strange towers of the Fiction-Writing Directorate, I seem to have, in the meantime, dug my own grave–or, essentially no different, garnished my own serving platter.

Yesterday I enjoyed a mid-afternoon interview with Ethelie and Gustav, the latter clutching yet a new and even more be-paperéd clip board, quill in hand. . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #27: The Squid’s First Challenge

Pay clear Attention, quislings! Today we have the Honour of a Guest Lecture. An Adept of a Strange (and Possibly Oriental) Path of Awesomeness, Catherine has some Excellent Advice which you should Heed.

Umm, hello everyone.

It’s a dreadful honour to be here, and a little intimidating, too. It’s been some time since I was, ah, disciplined by the VerbHounds, but certain parts of my anatomy remember the encounter very well.

I wanted to tell you about a phenomenon I see regularly. It doesn’t fill me with the same rage that Ethelie would undoubtedly feel, but it does make me sad and angry. It’s . . . → Read More: The Medium is Not the Message