Welcome, Brave Writers.
O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!
Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.
Read! Write! Flourish!
Or Else.
Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.
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By Ethelie, on March 30th, 2010%
O my little Goths and Visigoths! I write to you tonight with words of Exhortation, Caution, and Lamentations. I shall speak to you with a Metaphor, for you are all writers of a Poetic Turn of Mind.
Writing a significant work of Fiction, I believe, is like summiting a mountain: a Queen of Mountains, like Everest. You climb, and climb, in bitter Snow, fighting your own Exhaustion, following your Sherpas, uncertain whether the Visions you see are real or Hallucinations caused by Oxygen-deprivation, and making critical Decisions when your Vital Forces are at their lowest ebb.
Fear not, I might say, were I . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: Three Agents and the Mountain
By Ethelie, on March 23rd, 2010%
O my little Ant-Eaters!
Ethelie
Today I read this Interview with Miss Elizabeth Gilbert, an Authoress. I was particularly Struck by this Passage wherein she paraphrases Mr. Werner Herzog: “It’s not the world’s fault that you want to be an artist… stop whining and get back to work.”
Upon reading those Words, I leaped from my Bed in the Infirmary. The Surgeons and their beastly Nurses cried for me to Return to their Tender Care, but I could Tarry no Longer. No matter the cost to Myself, no matter the Cost to my Health, it was Time for me to get . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: Stop Whining and Get Back To Work
By Ethelie, on March 6th, 2010%
O my little Robins! I have a special Treat for you today!
So many Agents are Frustrated, Afraid, Struggling, Overwhelmed. You are Daunted by the Vastness of the Task before you; you Doubt your ability to do it Well; you are Busy with the Multitude of Interests and Responsibilities that make up your Life; You are Swamped by the Demands and Expectations of Others; you simply don’t Want to.
But I promise you, my Darlings: if you have the Time and the Courage and the Freedom to read these Words, you have Everything you need to create Miracles in your Writing. The task . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #21: The Five-Minute Miracle
By Ethelie, on March 4th, 2010%
O my little Pumpkins!
A common Complaint of new Agents is that they lack Ideas. “Woe!” they cry; “my Font of Inspiration is Dry, and no new Stories spring Forth.”
“Pshaw,” I tell them, Sternly, though most of them do not believe that “Pshaw” can sound Stern until I demonstrate the Technique for them. “Ideas are all Around you; you have only to Reach out your trembling Hand and grasp them.”
Begin like So:
1. Select the nearest Volume, whether of Prose or Poetry.
2. Open the Volume at Random.
The nearest Volume was Mr. Redgrove’s “Bygone Beliefs.” I flipped the Pages aimlessly, and my finger chanced . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #20: Random Inspiration
By Ethelie, on March 2nd, 2010%
O my little Petunias! Today’s exercise is most Delicious. All you must do is these three simple steps:
1. Consider the Fiction you have read recently. What have you most Adored? What has Inspired you? What has Delighted you? What has Challenged you?
2. Pen a Letter of Gratitude to the Author. Many Authors can be found on their Web-Sites; others may be reached via their Publishers. Tell the Author how much you Enjoyed his or her Work. If the Author you admire is no longer Living, simply send the Message via the Usual Channels.
3. In the course of your Contemplation and Letter-Writing, . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #19: Enthusiastic Thanks
By Ethelie, on March 1st, 2010%
O my little Harpsichords! A fresh Month is Upon us, and what better time to Consider fresh Beginnings?
Your Excercise:
Write three marvelous Beginnings. Yes, yes, some of you Performed this Exercise last Month; to you I say, one always needs Fresh Beginnings. Why, when I was in Training as a Directorate Agent, we were required to write Five fresh beginnings Each Morning before Breakfast! ‘Twas a most felicitous habit, and one which has Served me well.
Record your Beginnings in your Note-Book, or type them as Comments below for all to marvel at . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #18: Begin Anew
By Ethelie, on March 1st, 2010%
O my little Morning Glories! March is Upon us, and all around me I see signs of the Season: the muddy Traces of the Kraken’s tentacles amid the Flower-Beds by the Reflecting Pool; the unseemly Howls of the Verb-Bitch in Season; Daffodils and Crocuses trampled by the restless Graves of the Zombie Sherpas.
It is all quite Hideous, yet even I am not immune: I feel a long-forgotten and unspeakable Stirring, and feel compelled to Act. My Goodness. That simply Will Not Do, so I shall, as always, Channel my Energies into the Fiction-Writing Directorate.
I have made such Grand Plans for March, . . . → Read More: On the Exuberance of March: An Exhortation
By Ethelie, on February 27th, 2010%
O my brave little Butterflies!
A whole Month has passed since my first Post, since my tiny Boat set Sail on the Uncharted Waters of the Vast Sea of the Intarwebs. It has been a Delightful voyage thus far, my stay in the Infirmary notwithstanding.
It has also been a Productive time, though we were not Able to Forge as many splending Postings as we’d hoped. February is a Ghastly month, is it not? Perhaps March will be more Felicitous.
How have you done, my little Badgers? What have you Written this Week? What have you Written this Month? Take Stock! And then Write . . . → Read More: February Reckoning
By Ethelie, on February 26th, 2010%
O! What a lovely lot of Introspection you have all Undertaken! As a Reward for your Bravery in Observing your Fears and Trepidations, I offer to you the Opportunity to Play.
Simply compose a Brief Scene that combines the following Elements.
A modest glass of Absinthe
An overturned Pew
Three Mandarin Oranges
A Rail-Road Engine
A Wooden Hair-Brush, painted Black
The skeleton of a Fish
An old Despair
The sound of Bells
A Scarf, left Behind
Enjoy, my little Blackbirds! Play! Stretch your Writing Muscles freely! Frolic! Gambol, even, if you . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #17: Hodge-Podge
By Ethelie, on February 25th, 2010%
Yes, my little Petunias, I know I asked you to Exercise several Weeks ago. But don’t you think it is Time to get your Heart Pumping again?
This time, as you Walk, or Swim, or Dance, or whatever Bizarre form of Movement you Choose, ponder your Lists. As your Vital Fluids course through your Body, consider your Excuses. Consider your Fears. Record any Additional fears or Excuses that you Observe. Uncover festering Fears that lurk even deeper.
Consider, consider.
The Directorate has been Fortunate enough to have many Years of expert Advice on Fears and their Eradication; we have hosted a Brilliant pantheon of . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #16: Exercise
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