Welcome, Brave Writers.
O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!
Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.
Read! Write! Flourish!
Or Else.
Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.
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By Ethelie, on January 11th, 2011%
Some days, it seems the Halls of the Directorate are filled with Agents bemoaning their Lack of Inspiration.
Pah! What a feeble Excuse! Henceforth, any Agent who dares Proffer it will be Imprisoned in a dark Closet with the Plot Spider and her little Spiderlings. Perhaps the sensation of Thousands of tiny Feet clambering over your Helpless Body will prove sufficient Inspiration.
However, I fear that Agents who are not in the Environs of the Directorate may not Benefit from such gentle Inspiration. Hence, I offer alternate Sources. I encourage you to Peruse these Offerings. What exquisite Tales hide in each, waiting only . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: Concerning Inspiration
By Ethelie, on October 31st, 2010%
O my little March Hares! In a few short Hours, it will be November, which means Novel-Writing Season, under the Gentle Auspices of NaNoWriMo. For the Benefit of the Uninitiated, participants must Write 50,000 words in the month of November. Some Writers report tremendous amounts of Fun occuring.
The Directorate is of Two Minds concerning this Phenomenon. One mind Relishes the thought of so many Brave Writers simply Writing. Yet another Mind trembles: for each Writer that completes their allotted Words, hundreds — perhaps even Thousands — of other writers Perish in the Attempt, and their abandoned Words fester, and soon Rise . . . → Read More: The NaNoWriMo Survival Guide
By Ethelie, on June 14th, 2010%
AN EXHORTATION FROM THE GIANT SQUID, EDITOR-IN-ABSENTIA OF HIS POOR MOJO’S ALMANAC(K) AND RELATED LITERARY CONCERNS
My Dearest Scribblers and Scribblerixes,
Please pardon the dearth of prefatory pleasantries in this, my brief missive, but I fear that time is not in overabundance: I have just now had the good fortune to lay hold to a hand-crank cellular telephone clumsily left over-near my temporary confines here, and have but a brief moment to text unto you all my “OMFG”-worthy predicament, for I find myself held prisoner within the extensive bowels of what I am beginning to be made to suspect may be the . . . → Read More: An Exhortation from the Giant Squid
By Ethelie, on May 19th, 2010%
O my little Koala Bears! Your Attention, please.
The Fiction-Writing Directorate has decided to Offer a Free Course, to be delivered to your E-mail In-Boxes. It will Teach you how to more Effectively marshal your Forces and spend more time at your Type-Writing Machine writing, and less time playing Mine-Sweeper or examining the wares of the Pornographers. It will Help you become the Writer the Fiction-Writing Directorate demands you to be! It will be utterly Stuffed with our Most Effective and Fearsome techniques, and you will surely Benefit, whether you wish to or not.
I am Quite Sure that I know what you . . . → Read More: Your Directorate Requires Your Assistance
By Ethelie, on May 17th, 2010%
Ethelie
O my little Tulips! I suggest you read this Splendid essay by Miss Caine, to be found on the Inter-Net.
After our last Adventure, in which Gustav’s brave and hideously obese Cat, Markus, leaped into the Fiery arms of certain Death, we were not our Usual Selves. It was as if a Ghastly Maisma fell upon the Directorate, oozed through its Ancient walls, into our Chamber, and infected us with Gloom.
I, at least, was able to Revive my Spirits by gazing upon our beautiful Manifesto. Whatever the Cost, the Manifesto was surely Magnificent. Gustav did not Agree, and wallowed in the . . . → Read More: An Exhortation on Habits
By Ethelie, on April 19th, 2010%
Ethelie
O my little Jelly Donuts!
Last week, we released our Manifesto, to great Acclaim. Our deepest Thanks to all who Read it and helped us Spread the Word. And if you have not yet read it, Fie! Read now!
We released it with a simple Click of a Button, a virtual Wave of the Hand, which made it look Effortless. So we Wished you to Believe: for we are the Fiction-Writing Directorate, and we are Experts. Yet the byword of this brave new Inter-Net is Authenticity. Vulnerability. And so we must share our Travails with you, in order that you may Learn . . . → Read More: On the Creation of the Manifesto, Part I
By Ethelie, on April 16th, 2010%
O my little Bunnies!
All good Web-Sites, we are told, must have a Manifesto, lest they risk losing their Internet License. Thus, we present Our Manifesto:
http://www.verbhounds.com/manifesto/
We are terribly Excited to present our Work to you. It will Inspire! Inform! Terrify! Elucidate! And Inspire some More!
I shall not Blather at you any Longer: you must go Read it Immediately, and Obey.
Update: If you Desire knowledge about the Creation of this Magnificent Manifesto, the following Web-Pages will be most Informative.
Part One
Part . . . → Read More: The Fiction-Writing Directorate Manifesto
By Ethelie, on March 30th, 2010%
O my little Goths and Visigoths! I write to you tonight with words of Exhortation, Caution, and Lamentations. I shall speak to you with a Metaphor, for you are all writers of a Poetic Turn of Mind.
Writing a significant work of Fiction, I believe, is like summiting a mountain: a Queen of Mountains, like Everest. You climb, and climb, in bitter Snow, fighting your own Exhaustion, following your Sherpas, uncertain whether the Visions you see are real or Hallucinations caused by Oxygen-deprivation, and making critical Decisions when your Vital Forces are at their lowest ebb.
Fear not, I might say, were I . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: Three Agents and the Mountain
By Ethelie, on March 23rd, 2010%
O my little Ant-Eaters!
Ethelie
Today I read this Interview with Miss Elizabeth Gilbert, an Authoress. I was particularly Struck by this Passage wherein she paraphrases Mr. Werner Herzog: “It’s not the world’s fault that you want to be an artist… stop whining and get back to work.”
Upon reading those Words, I leaped from my Bed in the Infirmary. The Surgeons and their beastly Nurses cried for me to Return to their Tender Care, but I could Tarry no Longer. No matter the cost to Myself, no matter the Cost to my Health, it was Time for me to get . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: Stop Whining and Get Back To Work
By Ethelie, on March 6th, 2010%
O my little Robins! I have a special Treat for you today!
So many Agents are Frustrated, Afraid, Struggling, Overwhelmed. You are Daunted by the Vastness of the Task before you; you Doubt your ability to do it Well; you are Busy with the Multitude of Interests and Responsibilities that make up your Life; You are Swamped by the Demands and Expectations of Others; you simply don’t Want to.
But I promise you, my Darlings: if you have the Time and the Courage and the Freedom to read these Words, you have Everything you need to create Miracles in your Writing. The task . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #21: The Five-Minute Miracle
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