Welcome, Brave Writers.
O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!
Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.
Read! Write! Flourish!
Or Else.
Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.
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By Ethelie, on March 4th, 2010%
O my little Pumpkins!
A common Complaint of new Agents is that they lack Ideas. “Woe!” they cry; “my Font of Inspiration is Dry, and no new Stories spring Forth.”
“Pshaw,” I tell them, Sternly, though most of them do not believe that “Pshaw” can sound Stern until I demonstrate the Technique for them. “Ideas are all Around you; you have only to Reach out your trembling Hand and grasp them.”
Begin like So:
1. Select the nearest Volume, whether of Prose or Poetry.
2. Open the Volume at Random.
The nearest Volume was Mr. Redgrove’s “Bygone Beliefs.” I flipped the Pages aimlessly, and my finger chanced . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #20: Random Inspiration
By Ethelie, on March 2nd, 2010%
O my little Petunias! Today’s exercise is most Delicious. All you must do is these three simple steps:
1. Consider the Fiction you have read recently. What have you most Adored? What has Inspired you? What has Delighted you? What has Challenged you?
2. Pen a Letter of Gratitude to the Author. Many Authors can be found on their Web-Sites; others may be reached via their Publishers. Tell the Author how much you Enjoyed his or her Work. If the Author you admire is no longer Living, simply send the Message via the Usual Channels.
3. In the course of your Contemplation and Letter-Writing, . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #19: Enthusiastic Thanks
By Ethelie, on March 1st, 2010%
O my little Harpsichords! A fresh Month is Upon us, and what better time to Consider fresh Beginnings?
Your Excercise:
Write three marvelous Beginnings. Yes, yes, some of you Performed this Exercise last Month; to you I say, one always needs Fresh Beginnings. Why, when I was in Training as a Directorate Agent, we were required to write Five fresh beginnings Each Morning before Breakfast! ‘Twas a most felicitous habit, and one which has Served me well.
Record your Beginnings in your Note-Book, or type them as Comments below for all to marvel at . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #18: Begin Anew
By Ethelie, on March 1st, 2010%
O my little Morning Glories! March is Upon us, and all around me I see signs of the Season: the muddy Traces of the Kraken’s tentacles amid the Flower-Beds by the Reflecting Pool; the unseemly Howls of the Verb-Bitch in Season; Daffodils and Crocuses trampled by the restless Graves of the Zombie Sherpas.
It is all quite Hideous, yet even I am not immune: I feel a long-forgotten and unspeakable Stirring, and feel compelled to Act. My Goodness. That simply Will Not Do, so I shall, as always, Channel my Energies into the Fiction-Writing Directorate.
I have made such Grand Plans for March, . . . → Read More: On the Exuberance of March: An Exhortation
By Ethelie, on February 27th, 2010%
O my brave little Butterflies!
A whole Month has passed since my first Post, since my tiny Boat set Sail on the Uncharted Waters of the Vast Sea of the Intarwebs. It has been a Delightful voyage thus far, my stay in the Infirmary notwithstanding.
It has also been a Productive time, though we were not Able to Forge as many splending Postings as we’d hoped. February is a Ghastly month, is it not? Perhaps March will be more Felicitous.
How have you done, my little Badgers? What have you Written this Week? What have you Written this Month? Take Stock! And then Write . . . → Read More: February Reckoning
By Ethelie, on February 26th, 2010%
O! What a lovely lot of Introspection you have all Undertaken! As a Reward for your Bravery in Observing your Fears and Trepidations, I offer to you the Opportunity to Play.
Simply compose a Brief Scene that combines the following Elements.
A modest glass of Absinthe
An overturned Pew
Three Mandarin Oranges
A Rail-Road Engine
A Wooden Hair-Brush, painted Black
The skeleton of a Fish
An old Despair
The sound of Bells
A Scarf, left Behind
Enjoy, my little Blackbirds! Play! Stretch your Writing Muscles freely! Frolic! Gambol, even, if you . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #17: Hodge-Podge
By Ethelie, on February 25th, 2010%
Yes, my little Petunias, I know I asked you to Exercise several Weeks ago. But don’t you think it is Time to get your Heart Pumping again?
This time, as you Walk, or Swim, or Dance, or whatever Bizarre form of Movement you Choose, ponder your Lists. As your Vital Fluids course through your Body, consider your Excuses. Consider your Fears. Record any Additional fears or Excuses that you Observe. Uncover festering Fears that lurk even deeper.
Consider, consider.
The Directorate has been Fortunate enough to have many Years of expert Advice on Fears and their Eradication; we have hosted a Brilliant pantheon of . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #16: Exercise
By Ethelie, on February 22nd, 2010%
O, my little Garbanzo Beans! This week, we will turn our Exercises to the Internal. We shall Investigate our very Souls, and thus armed with Precious Knowledge, we shall Gird our Loins and Write bravely Onward.
You may do these Exercises in your Note-Book, and make your Report here to discuss your Findings. Gustav and I are busy with our own Investigations of the Insidious Evil that has Infected the Directorate, but never Fear that we do not have you in our Hearts.
Your Exercise:
Why are you not Writing? What are your Excuses? Simply Observe: we will attempt to Remedy the situation . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #15: Know your Excuses
By Ethelie, on February 22nd, 2010%
O my little Cherry Blossoms! The Directorate’s Surgeons have Infused me with a Serum that has caused my Bones to Knit together, and my horrid Convalescence reaches its end. Rejoice!
My period of Restful Recovery has given me much-needed Time, with which I have endeavored to bring myself Current on the Directorate’s Mail. Much of it, you will not be Surprised to learn, is young Agents such as Yourself, tendering their Excuses for not writing, in Hopes that they may avoid their Fate. O, the foolish little Ducklings!
For I have heard these Excuses before, in all their Infinite and Sordid variation, and . . . → Read More: On the Foolishness of your Objections: An Exhortation
By Ethelie, on February 19th, 2010%
Oh my Goodness.
I . . . I do not know what to Say. I have never been so Painfully Embarrassed. The Shame of the past few Days will Haunt me for Years.
Gustav has Prevailed upon my Doctors, and my Senses are no longer Numbed by Laudanum. I am still Confined to this Dreadful bed until my Bones knit together solidly, but it is a Delight to have my Mind back under my Control. And it is a Delight to have poor naive Gustav finally Understand the Truth of my Words.
Together, I am certain, we can Unearth the Evil that has Infected . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #14:
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