Welcome, Brave Writers.
O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!
Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.
Read! Write! Flourish!
Or Else.
Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.
|
By Ethelie, on August 18th, 2010%
O my little Spring Onions! I read a Most Remarkable beginning, and felt I must Share it with you.
In the tiny lifeboat, she and the alien fuck endlessly, relentlessly.
My goodness.
This is, of course, Ms. Johnson’s highly Esteemed tale, Spar, a heartwarming first contact story. Why, every time I think how Ms. Johnson’s heroine and the alien overcame their Vast Differences, Over and Over and Over, I feel an odd Trembling and Excitement which I am sure are due only to the Noblest of Sentiments.
I cannot help but Admire the Skill with which Ms. Johnson sets the Scene: with only a . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #29: Beginnings Again
By Boggins, on March 25th, 2010%
Boggins here. That’s right, the janitor. Things have been dark around here the last few days. Not literally. The agents are all half-blind mole people and this directorate rivals the sun for light on most days.
No, the darkness here comes from a most unfortunate virus spreading all around these fancy hallways. Everyone is miserable with a sickness to the stomach, and weeping rashes. HEE HEE HEE. From the chickens!
They always laughed at old Boggins, and his raw chicken leg breakfast, every day since I was a little rascal with new teeth in my . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #26: The Chicken Cure
By Lida, on March 19th, 2010%
Lida
You lovely, lovely writers!
Your exercise for today is very simple: take the weekend off. Yes, the whole weekend! You’ve worked so hard, accomplished so much: and now it is time to rest.
Since finishing my epic poem about President Polk, I’ve become painfully aware of the need to recuperate and regenerate my creative energies. I naively thought that I could just plunge right in to my next project, but instead I found myself simply playing solitaire today! No matter what I tried, I could not bring myself to start work on my exciting new project.
Finally, I realized I’d forgotten to rest! . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #25: Rejuvenation
By Lida, on March 9th, 2010%
Hello again, beauties!
I hope you enjoyed your pie yesterday; I certainly did. I had a delicious slice of chocolate meringue pie, myself, and afterwards, spent almost an hour on my epic poem about President Polk. Wonderful!
As I completed the stanza about President Polk overseeing the groundbreaking for the Washington Monument (such a tragedy, that he never lived to see it thrusting mightily against the sky!), however, my thoughts strayed to the Beastmaster. Though he is himself nearly as bestial as the creatures for whom he cares, should he not also have pie? Indeed he should! So I hurried off to his . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #23: Permission to Be Very Bad
By Ethelie, on March 6th, 2010%
O my little Robins! I have a special Treat for you today!
So many Agents are Frustrated, Afraid, Struggling, Overwhelmed. You are Daunted by the Vastness of the Task before you; you Doubt your ability to do it Well; you are Busy with the Multitude of Interests and Responsibilities that make up your Life; You are Swamped by the Demands and Expectations of Others; you simply don’t Want to.
But I promise you, my Darlings: if you have the Time and the Courage and the Freedom to read these Words, you have Everything you need to create Miracles in your Writing. The task . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #21: The Five-Minute Miracle
By Ethelie, on March 4th, 2010%
O my little Pumpkins!
A common Complaint of new Agents is that they lack Ideas. “Woe!” they cry; “my Font of Inspiration is Dry, and no new Stories spring Forth.”
“Pshaw,” I tell them, Sternly, though most of them do not believe that “Pshaw” can sound Stern until I demonstrate the Technique for them. “Ideas are all Around you; you have only to Reach out your trembling Hand and grasp them.”
Begin like So:
1. Select the nearest Volume, whether of Prose or Poetry.
2. Open the Volume at Random.
The nearest Volume was Mr. Redgrove’s “Bygone Beliefs.” I flipped the Pages aimlessly, and my finger chanced . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #20: Random Inspiration
By Ethelie, on March 2nd, 2010%
O my little Petunias! Today’s exercise is most Delicious. All you must do is these three simple steps:
1. Consider the Fiction you have read recently. What have you most Adored? What has Inspired you? What has Delighted you? What has Challenged you?
2. Pen a Letter of Gratitude to the Author. Many Authors can be found on their Web-Sites; others may be reached via their Publishers. Tell the Author how much you Enjoyed his or her Work. If the Author you admire is no longer Living, simply send the Message via the Usual Channels.
3. In the course of your Contemplation and Letter-Writing, . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #19: Enthusiastic Thanks
By Ethelie, on March 1st, 2010%
O my little Harpsichords! A fresh Month is Upon us, and what better time to Consider fresh Beginnings?
Your Excercise:
Write three marvelous Beginnings. Yes, yes, some of you Performed this Exercise last Month; to you I say, one always needs Fresh Beginnings. Why, when I was in Training as a Directorate Agent, we were required to write Five fresh beginnings Each Morning before Breakfast! ‘Twas a most felicitous habit, and one which has Served me well.
Record your Beginnings in your Note-Book, or type them as Comments below for all to marvel at . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #18: Begin Anew
By Ethelie, on February 26th, 2010%
O! What a lovely lot of Introspection you have all Undertaken! As a Reward for your Bravery in Observing your Fears and Trepidations, I offer to you the Opportunity to Play.
Simply compose a Brief Scene that combines the following Elements.
A modest glass of Absinthe
An overturned Pew
Three Mandarin Oranges
A Rail-Road Engine
A Wooden Hair-Brush, painted Black
The skeleton of a Fish
An old Despair
The sound of Bells
A Scarf, left Behind
Enjoy, my little Blackbirds! Play! Stretch your Writing Muscles freely! Frolic! Gambol, even, if you . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #17: Hodge-Podge
By Ethelie, on February 25th, 2010%
Yes, my little Petunias, I know I asked you to Exercise several Weeks ago. But don’t you think it is Time to get your Heart Pumping again?
This time, as you Walk, or Swim, or Dance, or whatever Bizarre form of Movement you Choose, ponder your Lists. As your Vital Fluids course through your Body, consider your Excuses. Consider your Fears. Record any Additional fears or Excuses that you Observe. Uncover festering Fears that lurk even deeper.
Consider, consider.
The Directorate has been Fortunate enough to have many Years of expert Advice on Fears and their Eradication; we have hosted a Brilliant pantheon of . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #16: Exercise
|
Sign Up
My little Manatees! If you Dare, sign up to become an Agent of the Fiction-Writing Directorate.
Take our free course: Writing Whilst Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: Nine Essential Teachings.
Updates by Email
Simply enter your Address below to receive Posts by Electronic Mail.
|
