O, my little Garbanzo Beans! This week, we will turn our Exercises to the Internal. We shall Investigate our very Souls, and thus armed with Precious Knowledge, we shall Gird our Loins and Write bravely Onward.

You may do these Exercises in your Note-Book, and make your Report here to discuss your Findings. Gustav and I are busy with our own Investigations of the Insidious Evil that has Infected the Directorate, but never Fear that we do not have you in our Hearts.

Your Exercise:

Why are you not Writing? What are your Excuses? Simply Observe: we will attempt to Remedy the situation . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #15: Know your Excuses

Oh my Goodness.

I . . . I do not know what to Say. I have never been so Painfully Embarrassed. The Shame of the past few Days will Haunt me for Years.

Gustav has Prevailed upon my Doctors, and my Senses are no longer Numbed by Laudanum. I am still Confined to this Dreadful bed until my Bones knit together solidly, but it is a Delight to have my Mind back under my Control. And it is a Delight to have poor naive Gustav finally Understand the Truth of my Words.

Together, I am certain, we can Unearth the Evil that has Infected . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #14:

O my little Anemones!

Thank you for your Kind Wishes and Get Well Cards; they have done much to Soothe me as I recover from my Horrifying attack. Today my Dear friend Gustav brought my Chair to the Solarium so that I might have some Peace, away from the Screams and Moans of the Mad and Wounded. As we Sat in the warm Silence of the Solarium, I told him of my Suspicions about my Attack.

O dear Gustav! He is Fiercely loyal to the Beastmaster, who Raised him, and would not Suffer me to speak a Word against him. I told Gustav . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #10: Magpie

O my little Geckos! Something Dreadful has happened. Previously I told you how I feared the Beastmaster’s rage; I trembled in my Chamber, lest he be Guided by his Anger and Harm me.

Yet for many Hours that night, all was Silent, and eventually, my Trembling ceased. I began to Believe that I had given in to Womanly Fears of the most Cowardly sort. Determining at last to Sleep soundly for what Remained of the Night, I Ventured forth to fetch a mug of Warm Milk from the Kitchen.

O Foolishness!

I should not have Relaxed my Guard! For though I was not . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #9: Get Well Soon

Hello, my little Panda Bears!

O, how Difficult life at the Directorate has been this Week. I told you on Monday how the escape of the Anaconda of Adverbs threw everything into Turmoil. We did, at length, recapture the Beast and return him to the Beastmaster.  At that Point, we turned our Attention toward Disciplining the Beastmaster.

I gave him the Sternest of Lectures, as you may Imagine. He nodded his Beastly Head at my Words, as if in Agreement; when I asked if he Understood and Repented, he said only “Yes Ma’am.” He was the very Picture of Abject Subservience: yet my . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #8: Say Yes’m

All People speak Differently, my little Orchids. Why, you could no more Mistake my words for those of the Beastmaster than you could Mistake the Kraken for a Tyrannosaur.

Think of a Trio of characters you have Written, and Present for us a sampling of their Dialogue, without Extraneous Words.  Do your Characters sufficiently Distinguish themselves? Do you let their Words be the Measure of their Characters?

Adjust your Dialogue as necessary to Accentuate . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #7: Character voices

Below is a passage of Prose written by a Senior Agent. It was Perfectly Splendid — until the Anaconda of Adverbs Befouled it. Not only is it now Strewn with Anaconda-droppings, but the other words have been Crushed into Bland insignificance and Tedium.

Can you help restore this Passage to its former Glory? Fix it, as Best you Can.

“Oh, hello, Amarillys, when did you get here?” asked Umberto guiltily and  accusingly and angrily as he walked really quickly across the floor toward her. He rapidly and furtively put his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Amarillys said, suspiciously and curiously.  “What . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #6: Anaconda Cleanup