Ma Boggins’s Special Biscuits

People been asking me what kind of biscuits did Ma make.  HA HA!  All kinds! No one makes them like Ma did, but if you’re a lazy old writer and want to cook instead of write, well, who am I to tell you that’s a dumb idea, and you’ll never make them as good as Ma.

Here ya go, from Ma’s old recipe books, straight from her hand.

Ma Boggins’s Coffee and Cranberry Biscuits

• Two glasses of fancy flour
• Four little spoons of baking dust
• Three little spoons of sugar dust
• Half a little spoon of Dr. Pinsnap’s Magic Salt Dust
• Half a glass of fat
• One egg
• Two thirds glass of milk (pig or cows preferred)
• One big spoon of smashed coffee beans
• One baby handful of dried (or fresh) cranberries

Mix together the fancy flour, baking dust, sugar dust, and some Magic Salt Dust.  Mush in the fat until it crumbles like the kitchen wall near the screen door.

Stir it up with the egg and the milk and the smashed coffee beans.  Then mix in the cranberries.

When it’s nice and wet, beat it with your fists. Pow Pow Pow!  BOOM!  Then use a round cutter to make flat biscuit doughs.  Bake it at 450 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

Serve warm with a saucer of apple peanut butter gravy!

I made a large batch to feed to all these sickie-dickie directorate folks, so they’ll probably be up and at’em by Monday.

So make a batch yourself, post a pic, and tell ol’ Boggins how much you loved his Ma’s biscuits.