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O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!

Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.

Read! Write! Flourish!

Or Else.

Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.

Of Anacondas and Excuses: An Exhortation

O my Patient Agents! I fear I have Disappointed you by not readying this Exhortation more Promptly. For though my Superiors insist that I Eagerly post early in the Day, and though I have the Noblest of Intentions of doing so, I have failed Miserably, and only through the Sternest exertion of Willpower am I posting Now.

For the Anaconda of Adverbs has cleverly Escaped the Beastmaster’s care! It slithers hurridly, stealthily, creepily throughout Headquarters, horridly shedding Modifiers wherever it so Cunningly goes. All of our Efforts have been Fully directed at its Capture, and though we earnestly, eagerly, rapidly, fervently Pursue the Beast, it persistently Evades us.

O my Friends, the Beastmaster will be soundly Punished, you may be blissfully Certain of that. He will –

I’m sorry; I thought I heard the Rasping slither of its Skin against the floor, but it was merely a Shadow.

I thank you for your Patience and Understanding, my Brave Agents, but must Insist that you not be Lulled. You must see these Words of mine for what they Truly are:  unseemly Excuses. Why, I might as well be a Writer myself, to have so Easily fallen Prey to Excuse-Making! I Shudder terribly when I consider how nearly I did not post this Exhortation at all!

Wisely learn from my Near-Escape, my Agents! Let nothing arrogantly Stand between you and your Mission this week.

What is your Mission? What will you Do? And how will you cleverly Evade those who would sweetly Dissuade you? Tell us in the Comments.

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