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O Writers! Do you Suffer from Writer's-Block? The Fiction-Writing Directorate can Help!
Our Exhortations will Inspire you; our Exercises will Strengthen you; and the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata will Enlighten you.
Read! Write! Flourish!
Or Else.
Subsiste statim sermonem et scribe.
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By Lida, on November 2nd, 2010
Darlings! It is time for us to talk.
In the Bible, after some dramatics with a wind strong enough to break rocks, a terrible earthquake, and a mighty fire, God finally takes his audience into consideration speaks to the prophet Elijah in a “still small voice.”
We all have a still small voice that speaks to us, I believe. Though perhaps only biblical prophets hear the voice of their God, everyone can hear something, if they are quiet enough. Have you listened? You may need to listen carefully to hear what whispers behind your customarily raucous thoughts. Some things make it easier to . . . → Read More: Concerning the Still Small Voice
By Ethelie, on October 31st, 2010
O my little March Hares! In a few short Hours, it will be November, which means Novel-Writing Season, under the Gentle Auspices of NaNoWriMo. For the Benefit of the Uninitiated, participants must Write 50,000 words in the month of November. Some Writers report tremendous amounts of Fun occuring.
The Directorate is of Two Minds concerning this Phenomenon. One mind Relishes the thought of so many Brave Writers simply Writing. Yet another Mind trembles: for each Writer that completes their allotted Words, hundreds — perhaps even Thousands — of other writers Perish in the Attempt, and their abandoned Words fester, and soon Rise . . . → Read More: The NaNoWriMo Survival Guide
By Gustav, on October 27th, 2010
Gustav
“You must help me!” cried Agent Frederick. The young agent, normally so self-composed, sat in my study, weeping missishly.
“Pull yourself together, lad!” I said, sternly. He took a deep breath, and wiped his eyes on his coat-sleeve (the one covering his prosthetic arm) and blew his nose grotesquely. “What is it this time?”
“I have too many things to do!” he said, and his lower lip began to tremble. Indeed, the lad was quite busy: in addition to his writing, he was engaged as the phrenologist’s apprentice, supported his consumptive sister by obtaining corpses for an anatomist, volunteered in the Temperance . . . → Read More: The Phrenologist’s Apprentice: The Directorate Guide to Getting Enough Done
By Lida, on September 11th, 2010
O Brave Writers!
May I ask how your writing is progressing? Is it flowing along deliciously, like a river of chocolate that rewards you with sweetness every time you dip into it? Does it, like a river, carry you along, displaying magnificent new vistas around each bend? Does your writing, like a river, lull you to sleep each night with the sound of its gentle flow and the wind amidst the rushes? Ah, what bliss! You, my darling, are the luckiest of writers.
But I am afraid this post is not for you.
Today I write to all the other writers: those who are . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: On Your Terrible Shame
By Ethelie, on August 18th, 2010
O my little Spring Onions! I read a Most Remarkable beginning, and felt I must Share it with you.
In the tiny lifeboat, she and the alien fuck endlessly, relentlessly.
My goodness.
This is, of course, Ms. Johnson’s highly Esteemed tale, Spar, a heartwarming first contact story. Why, every time I think how Ms. Johnson’s heroine and the alien overcame their Vast Differences, Over and Over and Over, I feel an odd Trembling and Excitement which I am sure are due only to the Noblest of Sentiments.
I cannot help but Admire the Skill with which Ms. Johnson sets the Scene: with only a . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #29: Beginnings Again
By Gustav, on August 16th, 2010
Gustav
Good evening, Brave Writers. Today I wish to share with you the cautionary tale of a young writer named — ah, let us call her Felicia Alicia McPecia, to protect what scanty shreds of privacy she retains. (I am well aware that this weak pseudonym will do little to deter astute readers from discerning her true identity; I can only beg you to allow Miss McPecia to live out her days of squalor and ignominy unmolested.) Her tale is not, as you might think, a warning against the cruel critics who drove her to drink, gambling, and madness, but a . . . → Read More: An Exhortation: On Second Thoughts
By Ethelie, on July 27th, 2010
O my little Opium Poppies! I am Delighted to see you again, and while I wish I could Trust you have been Diligent in our too-lengthy Absence, I fear a Noxious Slackness has overcome you. Fear no more, Faithful Agents! The Fiction-Writing Directorate has Returned.
The Directorate wishes to offer its Most Sincere Thanks and Appreciation to the Giant Squid, for kindly Guest-Posting. Even my great Shock at his most Scandalous Accusations does not negate my Gratitude.
Where were we, you Inquire, most nosily? O my little Whip-Poor-Wills, we traveled to a Distant and Mysterious city to learn the Ancient and Bizarre art . . . → Read More: Three Wholesome Teachings On Writer’s Block
By Ethelie, on June 18th, 2010
CHALLENGE THE SECOND FROM THE GIANT SQUID, EDITOR-IN-ABSENTIA OF HIS POOR MOJO’S ALMANAC(K) AND RELATED LITERARY CONCERNS
My Dearest and Devoted Scribblerians and Writorios,
I text in haste, and I fear without sufficient care for, I am exhausted: Today, I am to be transfered from the relative comforts of my tiled tank here in the Directorate’s tower to either the primary or sous-kitchen, so that I might be butchered and yet live again, first as sashimi, then as handrolls, then as calimari, then as taco salad, then as “seafood medley,” and finally as some abomination which Boggins reports Gustav has called “meatloaf surprise.”
Thus, . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #28: The Squid’s Second Exercise
By Ethelie, on June 16th, 2010
CHALLENGE THE FIRST FROM THE GIANT SQUID, EDITOR-IN-ABSENTIA OF HIS POOR MOJO’S ALMANAC(K) AND RELATED LITERARY CONCERNS
My Dearest Typistas and Quilleros,
I fear matters have, for me, become substantially more grim since our exhortation earlier this week. Specifically, despite Lida’s insistence that we shall soon sort out my implicit confinement here within the strange towers of the Fiction-Writing Directorate, I seem to have, in the meantime, dug my own grave–or, essentially no different, garnished my own serving platter.
Yesterday I enjoyed a mid-afternoon interview with Ethelie and Gustav, the latter clutching yet a new and even more be-paperéd clip board, quill in hand. . . . → Read More: Training Exercise #27: The Squid’s First Challenge
By Ethelie, on June 14th, 2010
AN EXHORTATION FROM THE GIANT SQUID, EDITOR-IN-ABSENTIA OF HIS POOR MOJO’S ALMANAC(K) AND RELATED LITERARY CONCERNS
My Dearest Scribblers and Scribblerixes,
Please pardon the dearth of prefatory pleasantries in this, my brief missive, but I fear that time is not in overabundance: I have just now had the good fortune to lay hold to a hand-crank cellular telephone clumsily left over-near my temporary confines here, and have but a brief moment to text unto you all my “OMFG”-worthy predicament, for I find myself held prisoner within the extensive bowels of what I am beginning to be made to suspect may be the . . . → Read More: An Exhortation from the Giant Squid
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