Gustav
“You must help me!” cried Agent Frederick. The young agent, normally so self-composed, sat in my study, weeping missishly.
“Pull yourself together, lad!” I said, sternly. He took a deep breath, and wiped his eyes on his coat-sleeve (the one covering his prosthetic arm) and blew his nose grotesquely. “What is it this time?”
“I have too many things to do!” he said, and his lower lip began to tremble. Indeed, the lad was quite busy: in addition to his writing, he was engaged as the phrenologist’s apprentice, supported his consumptive sister by obtaining corpses for an anatomist, volunteered in the Temperance movement, and had a cat of whom he was quite fond.
With more work expected of him each day than any one person could do in a fortnight, Agent Frederick had tried all sorts of schemes for prioritization and structure, only to find himself constantly overwhelmed and weeping, to the point where he could do nothing at all.
He begged me to help him.
“The Hounds already feasted upon my arm!” he said, presenting his prosthetic limb as evidence of the depth of his struggle. “I can’t bear to face them again… their teeth… their eyes, O, their horrible eyes! But if I can’t break this terrible paralysis, they shall have all of me.”
For his cat’s sake, I decided, I would help. Thus I counseled Agent Frederick to apply the power of synchronicity to his circumstances.
Learn!
The Synchronicity Approach
1. Calm yourself. You are of absolutely no use to anyone when you are distraught. I recommend absinthe, but other experts suggest deep breathing, long walks, and similar foolishness.
2. Write a list of all your tasks. Make the list complete and specific, and limited to tasks you could complete right now. For example, if “deliver fresh sample to the Anatomist” is on your list, but you are confined to the Phrenologist’s workshop for the next eight hours, place your work for the Anatomist on another list so that you may focus on what is possible.
3. Select an item at with synchronicity. Unenlightened minds call this “random”; but the secret powers of synchronicity are anything but random. I used to allow my wonderful cat Markus to select an item for me, but you may use any method you like, such as tossing darts, drawing straws, or asking a passer-by to choose a number.
4. Act. You now have several choices.
a. Simply complete the selected task.
b. Realize that the task can’t be done now for external reasons: if the Phrenologist hasn’t left the charts for you, you can’t file them, can you? If there is simply nothing to be done, remove the item from your list.
c. If the task is one that fills you with dread and reluctance, do not simply set it aside. You must engage with the task. Meditate first upon the causes of your discomfort, and then upon the solutions. For example, perhaps your reluctance to distribute Temperance leaflets stems from your romantic rejection by the leader of your organization. Ah, perfectly natural to avoid her now, is it not? Now consider solutions: perhaps you can collect your leaflets from someone else? Or perhaps you could present her with a kitten and hope to win back her affections. If you cannot bring yourself to complete the task, at least take steps toward understanding and repairing the situation, instead of letting the task fester in darkness and solitude. In time, you will prevail.
Why This Works
“Absurd!” Frederick cried. “Why, if I picked tasks at random—“
“—With synchronicity,” I corrected.
“With synchronicity,” he continued, “how could I ensure that important tasks would get done?”
“I understand your skepticism,” I said. “But it seems to me that you spend all your time weeping and paralyzed, so nothing is getting done, important or otherwise. Is that not true?”
He nodded, ashamed.
“This way, you will achieve at least a modicum of success. However, I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised at how often this method presents you with precisely the right task. Synchronicity, lad.”
And that, my friends, is how this post came to be written today.
Your Turn.
How do you balance your multitude of tasks? Are you willing to try the synchronicity approach? Speak up in the comments.
Aye, I am willing to leave it up to synchronicity, since being paralyzed ensures that nothing on my list will get done anyway. What have I got to lose? I shall begin my list today, now in fact.
Dig up Ashlynn’s grave to see if she took my favorite broach with her (that witch)
Make pie
Stalk Gustav
…
This will take a while.
Indeed, you speak truth. In my country, the Middle Kingdom (what you until recently mistakenly called Cathay, though the Ancestors only know why…) the very root of all our knowledge and culture is this “synchronicity” you speak of, though we prefer the simpler term “yi” or Change. There is no such thing as coincidence, everything is as it must be, it is up to the Gentleman to apprehend the meaning of the moment. In fact, we wrote a book called Zhouyi regarding how to see and understand these invisible forces back when you hairy apes…ah, excuse me…Honored Friends were still stalking the Caucasus in search of a good cave.
Perhaps you collective foreign devils…ah…that is, Welcome Guests could find a synchronous time to remove yourselves from Shanghai soon? Your barbarous eating habits are frightening the children.