I write today’s Post, the Last of the Year, aquiver with Excitement.
Our Year in Review
O my little Mistletoe! What an Extraordinary year for the Fiction-Writing Directorate. In February we broke Centuries of staid Silence and stepped out into the InterWebs so that we might further Pursue our Mission. Since then, we Released our Manifesto, created our first Course and befriended the Giant Squid. To our Despair, and the Beastmaster’s Delight, no less than Thirteen unfortunate Writers were Devoured entire by the Hounds, and Dozens more now sport finely crafted Prosthetic Limbs to replace the ones upon which the Hounds have Feasted.
Our New Look
What a splendid job Mr. Boggins has done of Tidying up our Web-Site! I have perhaps Underestimated the man’s Skills; I shall not make that Error again. Nor shall I make the Error of allowing him to Paint a Mural in the Drawing-Room. Though he has thoroughly Whitewashed his Evil Deed, the stronger Lines of his Creation seep through. I shudder.
The Fiction-Writing Directorate extends its thanks to all those without whose skilled Assistance our new Look would be less Delicious: Ms. Rasmussen-Silverstein for her rendition of the Hounds; Ms. Wilson for her Header, and of course Mr. Boggins for his Aesthetic Sensibilities.
Our New Course
Whilst vacationing in chilly Splendor at the Ice Hotel, I put the Finishing Touches on our Course! Many months ago we Surveyed you to better Understand your needs and Desires, and this magnificent Course is the Result. Writing Whilst Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: Nine Essential Teachings is now Available. To ensure that the Maximum number of Writers remain Undevoured by the Undead, this Course is entirely Free and entirely Wonderful.
I strongly Recommend that you Enroll immediately. It would be Complacent to assume that no Zombies will lurch through your Holidays; Be Prepared.
Our New Year
But we shall not rest on our Laurels, no matter how Cushiony and Fragrant they may be. We shall march Bravely into the new Year, and Unveil new Wonders to Help and Delight. We shall Post regularly, with Exhortations and Cautionary Tales. We will Introduce you to the Ancient Art of Shiva Nata, a System which Expeditiously dissolves most Auctorial Blocks. We shall offer exciting Products, from Workshops to Coffee-Mugs.
Perhaps 2011 will be the Year in which all our Agents write Freely: and the Hounds go Hungry. Won’t you Join us?