Hello again, beauties!
I hope you enjoyed your pie yesterday; I certainly did. I had a delicious slice of chocolate meringue pie, myself, and afterwards, spent almost an hour on my epic poem about President Polk. Wonderful!
As I completed the stanza about President Polk overseeing the groundbreaking for the Washington Monument (such a tragedy, that he never lived to see it thrusting mightily against the sky!), however, my thoughts strayed to the Beastmaster. Though he is himself nearly as bestial as the creatures for whom he cares, should he not also have pie? Indeed he should! So I hurried off to his quarters with a fresh berry pie.
I was warmly welcomed, and spent several enthusiastic hours in the Beastmaster’s company, and did not emerge until all the berry filling had been licked off my . . . fingers. Then, refreshed, I continued work on my Polk poem, scribbling feverishly until dawn. It was an utterly marvelous day! Sometimes, it seems, you must be Very Bad before you can be Very Good. Most instructive!
I’m afraid, though, that I did not spend the evening preparing my Exercises for you, as Ethelie had instructed me. Alas! So all I have for you today, my beauties, my angels, is this:
Your Mission:
1. Dare to be terrible in your writing. Misbehave dreadfully! Fling adverbs about with shameful abandon! Devour adjectives whole, and lick their delicious juices off your chin without regret! Invite in the cliches and let them drink wine straight out of the bottle! Let your sentences expose their ankles!
2. Write a paragraph of your very worst, and post it below.
3. Relish the feeling of freedom.
The spider’s name was Mathilde. That’s what it told Sarah, anyway, when it tickled lickity split up her arm, like a skeeter . “Don’t scream, little girl,” the spider said cunningly, or perhaps it said it worryingly, as it flexed a leg as thin as a nose hair.
“It’s pointing at me,” Sarah thought, and realized how much she loathed it when people pointed at her. Perhaps she would scream obscenities and stamp her Mary Janes and squish that shiny black spider into glistening mush. But she was tired of crying, and felt far too exhausted to scream anyway, so she grasped the wriggling thing in her grubby fingers, and ate Mathilde.
“I’m in love!” Ruby sighed, tossing her dark tresses innocently over her creamy shoulder. Glancing upon a mirror, she noted her own lovely eyes, brown and rich as a Hershey’s Dark chocolate bar. Rupert found those eyes more enchanting than she knew. Ruby wondered innocently how he might feel about her. It consumed her thoughts for hours, as she wandered thoughtfully around her fancy dwelling. I will win her love! thought Rupert fervently, though Ruby had no knowledge of his ardent feelings. She felt the warm glow of her own love, but had no clue of Ruperts own warm glow of love toward her, his ardent feelings. She thought, I must devise a plan for ensnaring him! And then she did, and they lived happily ever after. The end.
Agent Rocket, that’s delightfully horrid!! Especially the nose hair!
Eva, I was innocently ensnared by your ardent post. And then I lived happily ever after. Huzzah!
Huzzah!
Gleeful and exhilarating, Agent Rocket! And Agent Eva, so much glowing! Your work is luminous.
Ardently, ardently,
Lida
[...] several blissful hours with my Muse and my epic poem about President Polk, I decided to repeat Training Exercise #23 several times, for I am a firm believer in training exercises. I sought out the virile embrace of [...]