Below is a passage of Prose written by a Senior Agent. It was Perfectly Splendid — until the Anaconda of Adverbs Befouled it. Not only is it now Strewn with Anaconda-droppings, but the other words have been Crushed into Bland insignificance and Tedium.
Can you help restore this Passage to its former Glory? Fix it, as Best you Can.
“Oh, hello, Amarillys, when did you get here?” asked Umberto guiltily and accusingly and angrily as he walked really quickly across the floor toward her. He rapidly and furtively put his hands in his pockets.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Amarillys said, suspiciously and curiously. “What is in your pockets?”
“Oh, nothing, Amarillys!!!” said Umberto loudly and even more defensively.
“Oh, be quiet,” Amarillys said meanly and went outside and closed the door shut behind her very loudly.
“Oh, bother,” said Umberto, sadly and pathetically.
“Umberto,” Amarillys said.
Umberto, who hadn’t heard her approach, shoved his hands into his pocket and turned away. He titled his face up to look at her and attempted to smile. To her, he looked like a carnival prize in a bad light.
“What’s in your pocket?” she asked. Her voice quieter than the thoughts of the passersby, who hurried along in brief-case swinging rhythms, momentarily framed by the living room window.
“It’s a pack of gum. Cherry. You’d hate it.”
Amarillys kept her lips pressed together, letting Umberto’s lie hang between them and suffocate in the silence.
“Look, it’s not what you think. Kingsly gave me some medicine for my head. You know how it aches when I–since I quit. I’m clean; I promise.”
“I would say I’m disappointed,” Amarillys said, “but I guess I sorta expected this.” She turned to leave, stepping over the pile of clothes and treading carefully through the gutted radio in front of the door.
“Hey, Sis, wait.”
Amarillys stopped and turned around, knowing she was foolish to.
“You won’t tell Mom and Dad, will you?” His right hand caressed his left, which rose to a frantic scratching.
“Goodbye, Umberto,” she said, and slammed the door as if ringing a great bell. She rode its echo down the sidewallk, away from the old building, where more than just the walls were falling apart.
O, Well done, Agent Maus! Thank you for Exposing the true Horror of cherry-flavoured Gum!
Umberto looked up, startled. “Amarillys?” He stalked toward her, eyes darting back and forth. He shoved his hands into his pockets “When did you get here?”
Amarillys shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe an hour ago. It’s been a busy night, you know? So many people to talk to.” Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. “What have you got in your pockets?”
Umberto’s hands flew out of his pockets. “Nothing. Why, what have you heard?”
“Rumors, Umberto. Just rumors.” The corner of her mouth lifted just a bit. “They say you have the diamond with you. Do you?”
“Diamond? What diamond? My pockets are empty. Got nothing.”
“Liar. I can see the bulge in your pocket.”
Umberto decided to be clever, trying to cover up his nervousness with banter. “Maybe I’m just happy to see you.”
Amarillys glared at him. “Just shut up,” she said. “You’re disgusting.” She left the room and slammed the door shut behind her.
Umberto sighed. “Bother.”
Greetings, Agent Crawford! Welcome to the Directorate. Such a Magnificent job of Helping with our little Anaconda Problem! You have the Thanks of a Grateful Directorate.
Umberto scowled to conceal his guilt. “Amarillys, when did you get here?” He tried to hasten her response by closing the space between them. His hands fumbled with his pockets.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Amarillys sounded suspicious. “What’s in your pockets?”
“Nothing!” He pressed his hands to his hips.
Amarillys rolled her eyes. “Oh, do be quiet,” She showed him her back and soon he was looking at a slammed door.
“Bother,” He said.